Trigger Warning for Sensitive Topics
One thing that I have seen and witnessed more than anything else in human behavior is that humans hate being the bad guy.
I don't think anyone likes to be wrong, but as a mouse, I find this somewhat a shortcoming of humans: the need to name-call or put down others to make themselves look better.
How humans fall into this trap of gangs and "the popular girl at school" ideal is beyond me. Personally, growing up, I was so different from what everyone around me thought a woman or a man should be, that I was often excluded from groups or activities. Looking back, I think this was a blessing in disguise.
Most of these older women who fit the label of a "cat lady" have this deep-rooted hatred for other women, which is a sign of the alpha woman that humans tend to overlook.
When I speak on my own life, I find even myself worried of the hate and backlash most of my words can have. Not really having many women in my life that I can think of to look up to. Sure, I love a lot of people in my life, but some of their actions honestly display a measure of malice that my head cannot understand.
Funny how it is usually these bitter, shallow women that hold this kind of contempt for the next generation, men willing to follow suit in worry of losing their "peace" at home no matter the actions of the dreadful woman.
Yes, something I have had to deal with from the time I got out of the womb and yet again, most of them full of name-calling and screaming at people, making sure they all know what an evil person you are and how perfect they are.
Rather sickening, I find I tend to not need such toxic people in my life and honestly pain runs deep with how often the adults in my life dropped me and ran off for their own selfish needs. Lies seem to be common place and I find myself having to trust in God and knowing my actions are not wrong. It is not an easy road, but I do not regret things I find everyone else around me does or this innate hatred that runs through their veins of needing to hate people and fuel that toxic behavior.
I don't hate these women, but I can't be around them because of the lies and brainwashing they and others have succumbed to. They lie to cover up the sins that their actions bring. They hate me more than the actions they do. They are shallow women who will stalk you, hack into your accounts, lie, steal, throw hot pots of coffee in your face and get mad when you dare cry over the burns. You will ask and beg for someone to help and save you.
Trust me, I know.
You will ask yourself why they are lying or why this is happening as your life, your reason for living, is ripped from your hands. You are told again that you are evil and a devil spawn and you deserve this.
This is something you asked for by not falling in line and doing what they told you to do, by not sitting down and shutting up, by not going against the alpha woman in the group. You are different from us and you are evil.
When a group of people are told this about you over and over again, to the point that papers now write about what an evil human you are, the truth does not matter anymore. Only the brainwashing of the groups around them chanting. This is what it is like to be in a cult, by the way.
I want to write about the pain I experienced when I realized how many lies and mental illnesses the women around me had. They told me I was evil for not being okay with my husband having more than one wife, or drinking himself to death, or stabbing me 14 times. Yes, things he could get away with because he was the head of CAS of York region
. When my whole family turned their back on me because I did not fall in line. I still don't understand why they had to take out the garbage right then. I was left on the floor for three days, crying as my kids were gone and I did not know where they were or what happened. They told me I could not win and it was not up to me. They told me my kids would never know me and would never think anything good about me. And your family joined them and called me evil for every part of my soul breaking, because I should have known better than to step out of line.
Now, as I said, these papers are due to emails I got from readers and also part of my own healing process.
To heal, I have to forgive this sin.
To be the better person and pray every day for my girls and hope that one day, they will learn the truth and it won't be as hard on them to leave a cult as it was on me. I had to also learn that this was not God's love at all, that this mess had nothing to do with God. And I had to come to peace with my faith and forgive people, so I could heal and live my life.
Now, I can never forget my kids and it is horrible and wrong for you people to tell me to. It is wrong for you to have turned your back when someone who you claimed to care about needed your help. This makes you a coward and also something you have to live with.
This is not my fault, no matter what you say or do. This is something you did and if you really want to be better, then you need to heal yourself from this and step back and say, "I should not have done that, it was wrong." And never do it to anyone else ever again. No parent should know or go through the pain I have.
Here is a possible re-write of your text: I will never put myself in that situation again. I have learned that lesson well and if I am worth someone's time, they will show me as much as I do that I am worth having around. I am not evil, sorry. Your emotional blackmail will not work with me. It is sad that a woman like you has to lie to kids about their mother.
As for the rest, this woman has a lot of the same problems and personality of Ruby Franke, the mother of six behind the family YouTube channel "8 Passengers," who has been charged with six counts of felony child abuse by the Washington County Attorney in Utah. She is also on heavy medication. Funny how most of the women in that group have problems with mental health and drugs, as well as being married at 16 years old and such.
Yeah, not people I would trust.
Now, for the rest of my readers who are not part of that cult I was in, yes, by the way, that is true. It is not pretty when you leave groups like this and harder when you are 17 years old with one kid and one more on the way, popping them out like the good little breeder you are.
Yeah, and trust me, speaking up in these groups is not easy. They read my papers and such, so that bit is a bit of a hat tip to them. It is hard when leaving that and seeing how similar the tactics are to those used by the cult of the woke we deal with nowadays.
You can't have any connection to anyone and it's like looking around as the only one with glasses in a world full of books. But for other people, I don't have a crystal ball or anything. I know the things I do and learned from my life and some of the trials God has put me through. I take to heart that I will never be an object for anyone anymore or merely made to be a "sister", a pedestal to hold a man up as he drinks every day, killing himself, sleeping with any woman he can.
Hell, that son of a bitch still tries to get me back after all this time. So yeah, I have the right to say this after going through all that crap. YUP!!!
I write for myself, yes. It helps me calm my brain and release a lot of the pain. And I hope some other people who are reading this and having the same problems I have can find some kind of peace that I was not afforded, even if it's small.
Joy is a human birthright, but you have to work at it, I learned. And no, you can't suffer through other people's pleasure at the expense of your pain. You need to know what you want and such in life and fight for it, because one thing I learned is that stuff is not given to you, you are not owed it.
You have to grab and take it.
People will name-call you, set you up to look like the bad guy, lie and turn your love and happiness against you to gain leverage for their own ends. And they need you to look as bad as they can in order to scapegoat you and to make their own sins unseen, the skeletons in their own closet hidden.
I am far from perfect, but these people straw-manning and word-salad-ing is like breathing to them and you are the evil in their life that they project all the bad they do onto, so they don't have to feel remorse or regret. But the sad part of it is, no matter how long it takes, the truth comes out and it honestly can hurt more than the lie at the time, but healing needs to start from somewhere.
Few people understand hating the sin, not the sinner and will stick out horrible pain or lie about other people so they don't have to see their own sins. This is a phrase that is often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi or Adam Hamilton, but it is not found in the Bible.
However, it does reflect some biblical truths about how God loves us despite our sins and how we are called to love others as ourselves. Hating the sin means rejecting the harmful actions or attitudes that separate us from God and from each other. Loving the sinner means showing compassion, forgiveness, and grace to those who have sinned against us or others. It does not mean condoning or enabling their sin, nor does it mean ignoring or denying our own sin. It means recognizing that we are all flawed human beings who need God's mercy and help.
Sorry for this deep icky write-up, but as I said I will be answering emails from readers I get, so I hope and wish you all a wonderful day all the same and hope this write-up does not get you too down.